2414 Exposition
479-6660
Men's room rating: did not rate.
Dwight's comments:
Two quotes from a good friend of ours, Ann Anonymous Diner, pretty much sum this up:
"No shortage of cream in the bunker."
"Remind me never to come here again."
The problem with Cafe Mozart isn't really the very limited menu, or the food, though I found it bland and somewhat overpriced. (And it is worth noting that my pork tenderloin flambe wasn't served flambe.)
No, Cafe Mozart's problem is the service. More specifically, Cafe Mozart's problem is the unctious waiter/owner. Ann thought perhaps he had been into the wine a bit before dinner: Lawrence and I both shared the opinion that he was just a natural born jerk.
Drink orders lingered, silverware was swept off the table as soon as it was deemed "unnecessary", he was openly sarcastic about simple requests...
Calvin Trillin, in Alice, Let's Eat refers to a "maitre d' so supercilious that he managed to remind everyone at the table of a different despised grade-school teacher." I liked the line, but never thought I'd live it: then I ate at Cafe Mozart.
(Teacher's name available on request, but it won't mean anything to you unless you went to the same high school I did.)
Lawrence's comments:
Though we had heard good things about this restaurant, it turned out to be a really creepy dining experience. The food was OK, though it suffered from the French Problem and the menu was limited.
The main annoyance was the manager/waiter/owner, whom our dining companion, Mr. A. Nonymous Diner, suggested was drunk. (Dwight and I later debated whether he could be more aptly described as "smarmy" or "unctuous.")
Whatever the reason, he seemed far more concerned with schmoozing with the other (apparently regular) patrons than with bussing our table in a timely fashion. It took us a long time to get our drinks, even though the drink station was all of ten feet away.
He also replied "Ketchup?" sarcastically two or three times when I asked for same to use on my potatoes (and without 1/100th the biting panache or withering scorn Gareth Blackstock (the title character in the BBC-cum-KRLU sitcom Chef!, brilliantly assayed by British comedian Lenny Henry) heaped on a patron in his (far better) restaurant who asked for salt before tasting his meal).
But most annoying of all was the petty, control-freak way he removed all the "unnecessary" silverware on our table when after the soup and salad courses, leaving Dwight without a spoon to stir Nutrasweet (Actually, the other (pink) stuff: I don't use Nutrasweet.--DB) into his tea. Since most were lying on the table unused, this really irked me.
For German food, Gunther's is far and away your best bet. The prices are about the same, the choices are broader, and the portions are much more generous.
Previously visited: November 2, 1996.
13450 N. Hwy 183
335-5115
Men's room rating: 2. (Small, small, small.)
Dwight's comments:
One note on policy: in general, we've been trying not to do repeat visits (at least, as a official Conspiracy) within twelve months of our first visit.
In the case of Reale's, we made an exception because we wanted to try their Italian dishes, as opposed to the (quite good) pizza.
And, after two bummer weeks in a row, we wound up with the sort of Dining Conspiracy that makes the world seem a little better than it is: +Rich, Terri, RoadRich, Andrew "Jeeves" Wimsatt, and Ann Anonymous Diner and friend.
Much of the meal was spent stuffing ourselves with (excellent) bread and salad and venting our spleens on the cluelessness of management types: a high degree of cordiality and merriment was in evidence, helped along by excellent service.
And the food? What of the food?
Several diners shared a white pizza and made highly appreciative noises over it (as well as the more traditional red pizza). My dish (a mixture of various seafoods served over linguini in a garlic and cream sauce) was among the best Italian dishes I've had in Austin.
And did I mention the service was excellent? And that the owner came around to see how we were doing?
Good food. Nice bunch of folks. And they have a very nice patio: quite suitable for dining on lazy summer eves, like this one.
This is what Dining Conspiracies are all about.
3249 Bee Caves Road
329-0234
Men's room rating: 2.5.
Dwight's comments:
Ah, the mysterious East.
Actually, it's not the food I find mysterious, but the places that serve it. Why is service so uniformly spotty at every Indian place in Austin? And how could the same people be responsible for the excellent Bombay Grill and the barely-tolerable Star of India?
With that out of the way, we thought it would be good to do a comparison between the two benchmark Indian places in Austin. And, with our good friend Mike in town, we also had a perfect excuse. (Mike lives in New York, and hasn't found a Indian place there he can afford on a grad student budget.)
Bombay Grill holds up quite well, thank you: the various na'an (of which we had plenty) are as good as ever, and I heard none of my fellow diners complain about their various curries. (Though it was observed that the papadaum were stale: this has been a chronic problem for Bombay Grill recently. They're supposed to crack, guys.)
As for my favorite, the tandori mixed grill, it was well cooked and tasty (though some of the larger chunks of meat seemed a bit dry: it may just have been that they sat until close to the end of the meal).
Right now, if you asked me to recommend an Indian place, the choice between Mr. India Palace and Bombay Grill would be based more on geography than anything else: both are excellent, reasonably priced alternatives to Taj Palace or the late, unlamented Passage To India.
Lawrence's comments:
Good Indian food, but a bit pricier than Mr. India Palace, and the portions didn't seem as generous. But a credible source for Indian food if you live south of the river.
604 N Bell Blvd
(512) 918-0033
Men's room rating: did not rate.
Dwight's comments:
Very average barbecue, distinguished only by the presense of baked potatos as a menu item.
Probably okay stuff if you live in Cedar Park, but not worth driving in for.
Other than that, the company was fine, with Andrew "Bourgeois Pig" Wimsatt and Earl Cooley joining us on this outing.
Lawrence's comments:
BBQ Joint, One Each (plastic utensil and paper towels variety).
Nothing special.
1901 N. IH-35
218-8908
Men's room rating: 2. (Would have been a 3.5, with an extra half-point for the changing table. However, they lost points because of the backed up toilet. Also, see Lawrence's notes.)
Dwight's comments:
Earl Cooley recommended this place to us: I was disappointed he didn't join us, as it turned out to be a quite pleasant experience. (And not just because we all rode out in Andrew "Pimpmobile" Wimsatt's borrowed Cadillac.)
The atmosphere reminds me of a burger joint my parents took me to in Houston when I was much younger (right down to the shell-your-own-peanuts-and-toss-the-shells-on-the-floor), so I guess I was predisposed to like it.
I think the food more than justifies my fondness, though: the fried seafood platter was quite well done, with a much lighter feel than the equivalents at most places (like Pappadeaux) and much cheaper than many of those places (like Pappadeaux).
Also worth noting were the fried gator tail (good) and the odd hot apple pie: they do mean hot, as it's served on a cast-iron skillet with ice cream and a brandy sauce on top. Decadent and depraved.
One note, though, guys: "Bad To The Bone" is not really a slogan I want to see on restaurant employee's T-shirts.
Lawrence's comments:
If you're looking for decent seafood in really plentiful portions, Castaways (located in Round Rock) is a good choice. The atmosphere is suitably "seafood joint" funky, with free peanuts as the appetizer and their shells on the floor. The alligator and crawfish tail appetizers were quite good, and the service was very prompt. However, both the cup of shrimp gumbo and the Cajun salmon were merely OK (maybe I should have asked for the later blackened). Fried fish seems to be their forte. The portions, however, were beyond generous, and we all left quite stuffed. A good choice for seafood up north if you like Deep Fried Everything or want something cheaper than Red Lobster or Landry's.
The biggest drawback (besides the location) was the mephitic stench in the restroom. How about a NO SMOKING sign in there, guys? (Since they're in Round Rock, Castaways gets to escape Austin's Health Nazi No Smoking ordinance, whose clean air results I enjoy even while decrying their violation of private property rights.)
Send e-mail to Dwight Brown (stainles@bga.com).
Return to the main Saturday Dining Conspiracy page.
See the logs for June of 1997.
See the logs for April of 1997.